How you deal with a difficult person depends on whom you dealing with and where you’re doing so.
For example, if you’re in a store and the salesperson is rude or very aggressive, you can politely say that you’re “just looking” and will let her know if you need help. If she persists, you can go to a different salesperson or even leave the department or store. In other words, you don’t need to deal extensively with this difficult person.
In contrast, if you’re dealing with a difficult colleague or your boss, you need to find a way to handle such problems. Let’s say because your boss arrives at 9 am and stays until 6 pm, he expects that you should stay as late as he does. Because you have a child at home, you arrive at 8 am and leave at 5 pm, unless, of course, there’s work you need to complete.
Here’s how you might speak with your boss: “Mike, while I understand that you’d prefer me to be in the office during the same hours as you, I can be here virtually. During the 5-6 pm hour, you can call me on my cell phone or send me an email. Either way, I’ll respond promptly—just as if I were here.”
Generally, if you’re dealing with someone with whom you need or want to have a working relationship—such as a boss, colleague, client, or service provider (such as a lawyer or accountant)—you’d try to use an approach in which you’d acknowledge the other person’s perspective and then convey your own.
If, however, you repeatedly use this approach but the other individual remains impossible to deal with, you’d need to ask yourself whether you can tolerate this situation or need to make a change.
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