Whether or not English is your native language, you may wonder why "small talk" is called that. Perhaps to you, making light conversation isn't small and definitely isn't easy. You feel nervous, uncomfortable, and often wish you had eaten lunch alone.
If the preceding sounds familiar, here are three practical suggestions on how to engage—or, sometimes, not engage—in small talk:
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Try to change the topic: If you're sitting at lunch with classmates or coworkers and they're discussing topics that don't interest you or that you don't know much about—such as U.S.-style football or American celebrities—you can try to change the topic. For example, if the others are discussing sports, you might say, “By the way, I see that Obama is a good basketball player. Do you think he’ll also be a great president?”
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Join in conversation: If you suspect that your classmates or coworkers want to continue discussing a particular topic, you could pose a question so that you could join the conversation. In response to their comments, you might ask, “The media and many people appear to follow celebrities' comings and goings. But, do you think that Americans really listen to celebrities’ opinions, especially concerning politics?”
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Listen or leave: If you sense that your classmates or coworkers aren’t receptive to changing the subject or responding to your questions, you have two choices. You can sit quietly and listen to the others. Or, you can finish your lunch, excuse yourself, and leave.
It's a big world out there. If you're trying to make small talk with the same people and having little success doing so, it may be time to make new acquaintances with whom you have at least a few common interests. By doing so, you'll discover that, among friends, small talk can, indeed, be “small.”
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